psyyyyyych!

So here in Allentown, PA, they have my friend J-dawg and I shuttled between a bunch of different hospitals. Same hospital network, almost like different campuses. Funny we live across from the one that's the least put-together and fancy! But we get to live on "17th and Chew," and come on, Chew is THE funniest name for a street. Chew. Good 'ol Chewy.

So for the past few days I've been wondering just what is my role here. J-dawg is on Adult, and I have Adolescent; so at the end of the day we compare notes about our patient experiences. I am more of an observer of psychiatric evaluations and group therapy at this point, while she's sent in to do mental status exams by herself. Although today I did get to tutor a kid with his Chemistry homework, and we both grasped it so much better by the end of it than when we started that it was one of those near-magical times. He asked me if I was going to be around tomorrow, but of course I gotta be shuttled over to inpatient instead.

J-dawg and I definitely have stories to share. We're pretty alarmed by the fact that after only 3 and a half days, Suicidal Ideation has now been abbreviated to SI. Actually, that happened for me on day 1 and 1/2; so many of the teens had either come in for it or have it now. And we start of sentences with "So today in Group..." as if we actually are IN group therapy.

I have so many feelings fly through me when I'm there in an interview or sitting in at Group that it'd be impossible to catalogue them all. But thoughts for the day at least:
A 15 year old girl came in because of self-cutting. She's extremely insightful about it, telling us she knows it's wrong to do and unhealthy and hurtful to herself, but she's very irrational about it---if she could do it without getting caught, she would. You just feel so bad for these kids because then they say things like "I'm just a piece of shit, and I'm ok with that." You just want to hug them and say, "You are worthy of love and friendship!" As corny as it sounds. It's just such an intense emotional day each day for them; but I see how they interact in group and try to help one another with each others' problems, even though they're so depressed themselves, and I can't help but be impressed by them. And this particular rotation is a lesson in how to F up your children; because almost every single kid has a not-so-lovely family background, from bipolar parents to verbal/physical/sexual abuse. And yet you try to give them skills and medications to cope and deal with life and allow them to see that it can be liveable.

Anyway, I gotta get up at 4:30 AM or something (what is this, Surgery?) to go see Electro-convulsive therapy in the mornin'. That's right, administering a controlled seizure to treat chronic depression.

This rotation is nuts. But we are really liking it.